Becoming a Mum

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My son is now 11 weeks old and I can’t quite believe where the time has gone.

Unfortunately his birth didn’t go to plan. Luckily for me I hadn’t written a rigid birth plan and was very happy to go with the flow and was open to pain relief dependant on how I was coping. I had to be induced due to reduced movements and 24 hours later, my son was delivered by emergency caesarean section. It wasn’t the birth I had hoped for but my son was born safe and healthy and I was lucky to be able to take home my gorgeous baby boy.

Looking back at the first few weeks of my sons life, it was all a bit of a blur. I was very emotional and cried over pretty much everything. My first night home from hospital, I remember having a shower in floods of tears just because I was so happy to have had my little boy and be at home to start our life as a family together. I would lie awake watching him sleep even though I was desperate for sleep myself – I just couldn’t take my eyes off him.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve stepped aboard the biggest learning curve ever, and each day I’m learning something new. I’ve mastered making up a bottle of milk with one hand, changing nappies in the dark and how to put up the pushchair in record time.

The hardest thing I’ve found about becoming a new mum is living up to my own expectations and worrying about what other people think of me. Unfortunately I was unable to breastfeed and this has got to be one of the hardest things I’ve had to come to terms with.  I had imagined it to be one of the most natural things in the world but it was so tough and every day for the first few weeks I got so stressed out because I couldn’t feed my son.  I also wanted to be in some sort of routine as quickly as possible, who was I kidding? Babies will do things in their own good time and when they’re ready.

The best thing about becoming a new mum is looking at my son and seeing those two big beautiful blue eyes staring back at me with his cheeky little grin. He completely melts my heart. It makes all the pain of the section recovery, the many sleepless nights and early mornings we’ve shared worth it. He’s such a happy baby and I’m a very lucky mummy.

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