I often find myself having yummy mummy envy whenever I see mums out and about looking smart, attractive and dressed in nice, clean, non-baby and toddler stained outfits.
Here is my guide in how NOT to be a Yummy Mummy, which like it or not, I seem to adhere to:
- Wear something already covered in stains/with a big pattern on. After all, within half an hour anything clean on would look like yesterday’s dirty washing anyway
- Don’t bother making your hair look nice, before you know it it will be covered in one or more of the following; snot, sick, dribble, breast milk, toothpaste (which, admittedly, would be our own doing!)
- Don’t waste your money investing in eye cover up sticks. The dark bags I find underneath my eyes are more like black bin bags! Let’s face it, eye concealer will never stop the reasons for needing it in the first place: newborn keeping you up all hours, teething, Twitter/Facebook (again my own doing!). No amount of eye treatments will stop those things from occurring!
- Why worry about keeping on top of the housework? A show home looks great and minimalistic, but who really has the time or the inclination when your home is taken over by little people and all their toys, books and clothes continually?
- Don’t bother shaving your legs; embrace the fuzziness! Shaving takes time, time I don’t have to myself, and when I do get me time, this isn’t always a priority. Besides, it’s an extra layer of natural body warmth! Obviously this becomes trickier once the warmer weather appears, best thing is to not wear anything short!
- Don’t purchase an on-trend shoulder bag. You would never fit all the essential items you need to carry in one anyway! Less ‘shoulder’ more ‘boulder’ bag!
- Don’t kid yourself that you can be über organised and remember all those birthdays, dental and doctor appointments and deadlines for things. Baby brain muddles everything and causes short-term and long term memory loss and makes you appear confused even if you think you are efficient!
Why bother leaving the house all glammed up with makeup, hair styled ‘just so’ and nice clothes? It isn’t long before you end up sporting one of the following al fresco looks any way:
- Wind swept – less like you just stepped out of a salon and more like to just got dragged through a hedge backwards!
- Eau de sweaty pits and rouge cheeks – you start off on your excursion with a coat on and it’s not long before you find it is warmer than you realised and if you walk fast like me, you start to feel warm and wish you hadn’t put so many layers on!
- The wet look aka ‘drowned rat’ – you get caught in the rain! No umbrella and even if you had one you wouldn’t be able to hold it! Soaked right through.
- Owwww! New shoes – don’t bother going out with the buggy wearing heels or new shoes because you will either trip up the pavement or get blisters!
Follow these easy tips and you too can look as disheveled as me! Lucky you!