Grayson in the incubator

Born with a disability. Part 1

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Blogger Kara of Innocent Charms Chats tells the first part of her brave story…

It’s 4.55pm on January 4th 2009, I am tired but smiling from ear to ear. I look across the room and I see a smile on my husband’s face that I never imagined. A smile that shows pure happiness and pride, a smile which needed no words.

Grayson asleep

Three years before I never thought this day would happen, we had been told we were not likely to ever be able to have children, we made peace, we decided a different route, so imagine our shock when one evening (six pregnancy tests later) we found out we were pregnant and our miracle baby was on his way.

My husband Ashley sits there holding our first child, our beautiful son Grayson born 33 minutes earlier. Although born fast asleep and blue and needing some oxygen, our little Grayson was pure perfection. We cradled him, smiled, chatted and did not put him down; he was so peaceful and so content. Neither of us were nervous, we were both just so excited.

Dad and Grayson
Fast forward to 10am the following morning and as Ashley walks in with car seat in hand he is met with a frightened and tearful wife. Our little boy is not doing as he should, he has started to shake and not taking any feeds, he is wheeled away for what feels like hours. We sit there, holding our breath, thinking that all is OK, expecting our little boy to be wheeled back in, but as the curtain is pulled back we are met by two doctors and a midwife asking us to follow them to SCBU.

Without my husband and family I would not have got through the week following. Our little boy had severe jaundice, an infection and issues with his nervous system, he spends four days on double phototherapy, his eyes are taped shut, he is in a plastic tube, cannulas in both arms and one foot, we wake him every two hours for feeds which he barely takes, but according to all the doctors he is OK, he is just struggling a little as they believe him to be more premature than first thought.

Day 5 I am the happiest woman again, my little boy is returned to me on the ward, he is still on single lights but is allowed cuddles, he is allowed to be held and nurtured. Day 6 sees my husband very late in the evening finally getting to carry his first son out of the hospital and drive him safely home. We are finally going to be a family!

That evening as my husband and I sat on the sofa smiling at our son we had similar thoughts but did not discuss them, I think as parents you know in your heart when something is just not right with your baby, you know that all is not as first planned and unfortunately this was the first day of a new life that neither of us were prepared for…

Look out for part 2 of Kara’s brave story coming soon. For all your bump to five essentials visit baby specialist Kiddicare.

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