“I sprayed a health visitor, she still doesn’t know!” Elle Rhys-Davies, Mumma to Mia 17 months. The Perfect Pair, our formidable breast-feeding support duo from our Hedge End store, regale tales of boob-shaped hilarity.
In our line of work we are privileged to hear all sorts of hilarious boob related stories. Everything from the “oops there goes my let down!” jokes to recounting certain scenes in What To Expect When You’re Expecting. If you haven’t seen the film, then you need it in your life!
Whether you’re scrupulous about covering up or proudly nonchalant, accidental flashes in public are among the most common breastfeeding mishaps shared by Mummas with breastaurants. Says Vikki: “my postman has seen my boobs more times than Sarah and my boyfriend combined.”
Where’s the remote?
“And haven’t we all smugly grinned whilst the boyfriend picks at what you know to be dried sprayed breast milk on the TV remote? No? Just me then?!” Vikki.
Whilst supporting mums through their breastfeeding journey, it is common for mums to ask us about what is best when their baby has conjunctivitis, snuffly noses, dry skin… and of course our immediate recommendation is breast milk. The following weeks listening to the stories of mums shooting breast milk into their babies’ eyes, straight from the source always brightens our day.
Inadvertent squirts can also be awkwardly intimate. “That coital moment when let down occurs.” Anon.
Tip of the day
How to avoid those annoying people on the high street trying to sell you charitable goods? Repeat after me: “can’t stop, I need to breastfeed my child urgently before my boobs explode!” Whoomp there it is!
“I once breastfed at my friend’s wedding, and the final official prints included a bare naked boob shot. Go me!” (Sarah).
Nom nom nom
“Whilst happily sat in my local shopping centre feeding Samuel, circa 8 months old, a lovely old lady comes over to coo over my suckling baby. She is chatting away to me whilst peering at my boobs. The lovely old lady declares at the top of her voice. ‘Wow, he’s going for it isn’t he!’ Luckily by that stage I was an exhibitionist.” Beautiful Mumma Samantha Wong to Samuel aged 18 months and baby Hettie.
Don’t try this at home
For those extended feeders out there. “Child attemping boob and lollipop… at the same time?!” Bec Bart, amazing Mumma to Rueben.
“I was on a train with my then toddler, Lochlan in his reins and a baby Brenna in a sling. Additionally I had my Phil and Teds double, 2 car seats and a rucksack. Let’s not go there. I digress, I was wearing one of those weird criss cross breastfeeding tops, y’know the sort, and whilst on the journey Brenna had a cheeky feed. No problems on the train, all good. Or so I thought. Until the doors opened at my chosen station and there was my Father. Who greeted with the following statement “Sarah your boob is out”. Yep, there it was, all of it! No peeking, or blushing, the whole engorged mass, swinging free.” Me, Sarah! Cringe. Mumma to Lochlan 6, Brenna 5, Niamh 2. Sorry Hedgettes!
What funny or awkward moments have you experienced as a result of breastfeeding?
Visit Kiddicare for the oh-so-discreet breastfeeding cover-up Mamascarf and those all-essential breast pads. And don’t, whatever you do, miss out on the Perfect Pair’s previous blog posts: breastfeeding gold dust they are.