Friday saw our first speech therapist appointment for Kayleigh. It was mainly a chance for them to see her and asses how she was getting on and discuss the next steps.

It actually turns out her vocabulary is great for her age and until she turns four they are not too concerned about her speech. All the letters she is switching in is pretty normal in children her age, which was fantastic news, and a relief! There are a few bits they would like us to practice at home, then they will see us in six months to reassess. However we now have had a new issue pop up.

I noticed a few months back that Kayleigh wasn’t really listening, or at the time I assumed that was the case. Lately, I have noticed she has really been struggling to hear when you talk to her. There have been times where I have been face to face with her and she’s asked me:“What are you saying, Mummy?” It’s heartbreaking.

After a trip to the doctors and a quick test he agreed that she needs to be seen for a hearing test – the speech therapists want a copy too as they think the two issues could be linked.

It’s heartbreaking and terrifying to think she’s living in her own little world at the moment as she can’t really hear what’s going on. The thing is, I’m not being an over protective, overly /worried mother about this either. I know from firsthand experience what it’s like to not have great hearing.

Although it’s not publicised on my blog or amongst people I know, I have a hearing aid in my left ear. My right ear isn’t 100% however they didn’t think it required a hearing aid. I probably don’t use the aid as much as I should do and rely on lip reading at times to put together conversations.

I probably should have had a hearing aid during my schooling, however, I never really noticed a problem; maybe I was living in my own little bubble back then. Then when I started work and the sounds were lower I noticed I struggled to hear a lot more. This is when I got my hearing tested and it was confirmed I had a slight hearing loss.

There isn’t really anything physically wrong with my ears or anything genetically wrong with them – it’s just one of those things. So why can I not stop feeling guilty for what Kayleigh is going through right now? I feel it’s something I passed down but more than that I feel so angry at myself for not picking it up sooner!

I spoke to NDCS (National Deaf Children’s Society) prior to Kayleigh’s speech therapy to see what they would recommend and have taken their advice on board. They we’re extremely helpful in explaining what the hearing test would include and talked to me about the things I can do to help her in the meantime.

I feel much more in control now about the whole situation and hopefully it will be something simple that can be resolved quickly. If not, as a family, we will rally round and get through this. We always do.