The Second Child’s Short Straw?
With our first baby I knew exactly how many days old she was, what milestones she ‘should’ be hitting, we took her to get weighed every two weeks and fretted for ages over every decision: should I let her have a dummy? When is the right age to stop swaddling? What should be her first ‘solid’ food? And so on….
With our second born, our son, I’ve spent ages telling people he was three weeks older than he really is, he’s not been weighed by the health visitor for months, when he was born he wasn’t showered with gifts from friends and family to the extent our daughter was, he got the hand me down nursery with Annie’s old cot and mobile and I’ve totally forgotten how I weaned Annie so am making it up as I go along with him.
As a result, I can’t help but feel like poor old Ezra has drawn the short straw in the baby stakes BUT the other way of looking at his situation is that he’s been spared all the stress of being the first born. For example, I’ve known what to do when he’s been upset, the best way of getting a baby to sleep, what to do when he’s felt poorly and how long to wait before calling the doctor.
There’s been no real learning curve for us and him because we’ve already been through most of it with Annie. I was much more confident with him as a newborn because I knew from experience that he wouldn’t break. I’m so much more relaxed with him and I’m also less concerned about when he hits his milestones; he’s a healthy happy little guy and that’s enough.
I do worry that he has to share us with his sister but my husband and I make sure we spend time with each one of them on their own so they know that they’re not just one half of ‘our kids’ but their own little individuals.