Swimming Pool Hell
I do like swimming. I don’t go as often – well, at all really – as I once did before I had children. I hope one day, once the boys are older, to take it up again regularly.
BUT I hate wearing my swimming costume for the world and his (swimming) mate to see!
I have never been someone who has felt comfortable in her swimming costume. I have always dreaded the ‘walk of wobble’ as I make my way from the changing rooms into the pool. I know that I watch people entering the water, so I know that people will be doing the same as I do it too. Many a time I have held my head high, sucked my stomach right in and almost walked along on my tip toe to make myself look as slim as is possible. Once submerged, all is fine and I can swim along quite happily not worrying about what I look like. Well, apart from the black eye liner which forms around my eyes making me look like a water logged panda – I never do seem to completely remove it before I go swimming!
Of course getting out of the pool is also terrifying, because my bottom is highlighted as I climb the steps to get out! I always check I don’t have a wedgie before I begin my exit of course – I wouldn’t want to make an already bad situation even worse! And there is NO way that I would ever leave the pool by hoisting myself out via the pool ledge – for one thing I don’t have the upper arm strength (I have tried and failed miserably before). Even if I could manage to do that, instead of looking graceful on exit – I would probably look like a floundering whale as I clambered out, beached on my tummy, and end up with my costume stuck where the sun don’t shine!
Since having my two boys I dread being seen in my swimming wear even more. I wouldn’t say that I look particularly huge. I am a size 14 and I have had two children and I am in my 30′s, so my figure isn’t what it once was – that is a fact! I have also never had the best shaped legs, although when I was younger I had less wobble, less cellulite, less stretch marks and my skin wasn’t so pale as it is now. And I know that tanned skin isn’t good for you, but I spent more time outdoors when I was younger and being tanned gave me more confidence.
But do you know what? Something I just can’t fathom is when I see other mums post baby with amazing figures, flat stomachs (and I don’t even think they need to suck it all in either!) and heaven forbid, wearing bikinis! Bikinis, I tell you! I don’t know if I will ever have the confidence to wear one of those again! And yes, I am jealous of their trimness. I am sure if I ate a lot less cake and exercised more I could look better! But these women seem to pop a baby out and then suddenly they have their post baby figures back in a flash! How do they do it?
The thing is, there are just some women who always manage to look good when going for a swim. You know the ones. Their hair is held up on their head in a neat and pretty way – whereas I just scrape mine back any-old-way – and they wear earrings. I expect they also keep on top of their hair removal – I’ll be honest, I have been swimming with slight leg stubble and the whole time I am hoping no one will be able to notice! And – oh yes – and they don’t have mascara running down their cheeks! No swimming Alice Cooper impersonations from them!
Mind you I used to think this about other women who were in exercise classes or at the gym alongside me. I would be there in my un co-ordinating leisure wear, hair tied up any-old-how again, bright red, slightly sweaty, and not looking especially attractive. Yet there would be ladies there who again wore make up, without a hair out of place and looking very… well, gorgeous! How do they do it?
Maybe there exists this unique breed of women who are just born to look good in any given situation, who remain unflustered and are able to look amazing, even when exercising! I wish I knew their secret, don’t you?!